No, I will not open my mouth as wide as an alligator.

Orthodontist. Most people cringe at that word. I, being like most people cringe. But, I also shudder, and feel like crying when that word is said. Ok. That's being a bit dramatic.. but I am not a fan of going to the orthodontist. No sir. My orthodontist (who will remain nameless) has taken me on quite a journey. Let me take you back to September 31, 2005. (here's where it goes blurry, and then gradually a younger and naiver me appears.) We walked into said office on a bright, cheery, fall day. I was strangely excited to get braces. I thought they looked cool. Ya. They looked cool... back in the 6th grade. "Well", says said orthodontist, "we are going to have to do some expanding of her mouth, and then hopefully she won't even have to have braces." "Sounds great!" say my parents. I come in to my next appointment. They fit me for a retainer. "This is just to expand your mouth hon. You have a 100% over bite, and that's what we are tryin' to fix." I, not knowing what that meant just went along with it. I was to wear my retainer all the time. Naturally, I broke it. What did they expect? Didn't they know I wouldn't wear it all the time, and eventually it would get broken? So. They fit me for another one. Naturally, I broke it. "Dear, you have broken 2 retainers so we are forced to put in a permanent one." oops. They forgot to mention I would have 2 metal poles going up and down the sides of my mouth. It looked like a robot, in my mouth. Now.. lets skip ahead to September 23, 2007. First day of eighth grade. I know just the way to make the first day of school even better. Add braces. So cool. "No worries Jane! You'll only have braces for 9 months, tops!" I can live with that! 9 months? that's a cinch. Lets skip ahead to the present. November 17, 2009. After waiting an hour I sit in the dreaded chair. "So, how long are we talkin her Doctor ____?" I say. "Oh if your lucky we will have them off by the end of school! 7 months." ONE WORD. THREE LETTERS. UHH. I felt like slapping him. "Ok! sounds great!" I fakely say. Then I leave. Now I'm here. 5 years later. Still doing this. I still have braces. The whole reason that I got them so early was so I wouldn't have them in high school. Well, I'm in high school and they are still here. Ok. I know that I did break my retainers. But that doesn't give an excuse to hold me back three years! Anyway. sorry I was cross. I'm just not a happy camper! But wait! on the upside my papa did order me the book Home: Memoirs of My Early Years by Julie Andrews. And, my sister did just make banana bread. Ok. I feel better. You have a great day now!